What Is Marriage?
Marriage Is a spiritual joining together of a man and a woman in a holy wedlock; so marriage is holy, and not canal. It is spiritual.
What Is A Home?
A home is a place of peace, joy, love, and mutual agreement, where God lives. A house Is different from a home, however, a home may exist in a house if all the fruits mentioned are present.
Therefore, we can only have a happy and fulfilled home, not a happy house.
To build a happy home requires the presence and guidance of God through the Holy Spirit. Marriage was designed by God for companionship, support, progress, fruitfulness, happiness, comfort, and favour. (Proverbs 18:22)
CAUSES OF MARITAL CRISES/UNHAPPINESS; Genesis 2:18-25
When everything that God created marriage for is violated by one or both parties, there will be problems in the home.
God’s Design For Marriage;
1. The man as the leader.
2. The woman as the subordinate, helper, and supporter.
3. Leaving your families to start a new family that’s not fashioned after your extended families, but after the Word of God.
4. There must be transparency, truthfulness and openness (that is, no secret) between husband and wife.
5. Fellowshipping with God together is a must to keep the devil away. (Genesis 3)
6. Both husband and wife must maintain their positions in the home and focus on their assignments. The woman must never cross her boundary by taking decisions without her husband’s consent. Not maintaining your place of assignment in the home will always lead to family problems; and once that happens, hedges will be broken, and guards will be removed. (Ecclesiastes 10:8)
7. When a woman crosses her boundary, she loses focus of her purpose in the marriage, then everything begins to go wrong in the family. Even though Deborah was a Judge, a working class woman, holding a leadership position in her country, she made it clear to Barack, the Commander in Chief of the Army that she wasn’t going to follow him to the battle ground as a married woman; and when she was forced by Barack to go with him, God was angry with Barack. (Judges 4:4-9)
8. The man must also avoid leaving his wife alone for too long. Do not be an absentee husband; be available when you’re needed. Do not allow your wife to get used to not seeing you at home.
PREVENTION
● Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. (2 Corinthians 6:14)
● Purpose of courtship must be known and fulfilled. A successful courtship will produce a successful marriage. Which would you prefer – a Mary/Joseph courtship or a Samson/Delilah courtship?
● Avoid pre-marital sex, it destroys trust, it blindfolds, and it’s the root of many problems in the home, because it initiates and seals covenants. So many men and women have entered into covenants with different people they have had pre-marital sex with. Of course, all these are the causes of most problems in marriages today.
● Understand God’s purpose for marriage before you enter, and be ready to fulfill it. (Ephesians 5: 21-33)
● Be ready to move with the Holy Spirit and operate in the Fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-26)
● Learn the art of communication, both verbal and non-verbal.
● Maintain a good sexual relationship, avoid dressing shabbily, even at home; be neat, be romantic and have a good sense of humour.
● A wife must learn to cook good food for her husband.
● Friendship and companionship are important in marriage, ensure you remain friends and enjoy each other’s company at all times. Do not allow anything that will cause tension in your home.
● Always avoid a third party interference in your marriage. Avoid reporting your spouse to extended family members, and friends. Learn to talk to God and seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit at all times.
● Always appreciate one another, and do not take each other for granted. Learn to say ‘Thank you” after each help, and “I’m sorry” after each mistake or hurt caused.
● Last, but not the least, appreciate God always for your marriage, family, love for each, your finances, and for His love, support and protection over your family.
● CONCLUSION
● Divorce is never a solution or an option for Believers and Followers of Christ, because unforgiveness is a sin. Divorce is not of God. (1Peter 4:7-11, 17-19; 1Peter 3:7-9; 1Corinthians 7:10-11; Malachi 2:13-16)
● A woman must always operate in the wisdom of God to make her marriage work and win her husband over in any circumstance. (Proverbs 14:1; 1Peter 3:1-6)
● A man must always operate in the wisdom of God to keep his wife happy and submissive. (1Peter 3:7)
Prof. Lola George-Akoke is the Founder and Senior Pastor of Faith Alive Bible Church, Lagos. She is the Founder and President of Zinovi Educational Foundation. She is an internationally trained and certified marriage and relationship counselor.
Email: pastorlolageorgeakoke@gmail.com
